I was in Waitrose shopping with a friend/colleague when all of a sudden my bladder was leaking, and I couldn’t make it to the toilet on time. I spoke with my friend and explained, that it had kept happening to me and I was getting a sharp pain, as a warning sign. She encouraged me to go seek help. I got an emergency appointment at the doctor the next day, they asked me what had happened, explained to her whilst in tears. She said she would put me on meds, I had to do a urine sample and she told me to go to Boots and give them a prescription. This wasn’t for drugs it was for incontinence products. She said I needed to wear these to make me feel more comfortable, and that they would help with the medication. She signed me off work for a week.
I went to Boots, handed over the pharmacy, and got asked what size do you need? I had no idea, I burst into tears, and thankful the pharmacist said it was okay and she taught me everything I need to know. I walked away with a big bag of incontinence products, feeling guilty and unsure of what was to happen.
By the weekend, my friend asked me to go for drinks and to karaoke, which had become a standard weekend night. I said I couldn’t, I explained what had happened and she said it would be okay. I went out to meet them for a drink, wearing a product, luckily, I did as it saved me from embarrassing myself. I was very self-conscious, but she kept saying it was only for a short time.
It wasn’t for a short time, I started to not make the loo during the middle of the night, the pain was getting worse, and three months later I’d lost control again. This time, I saw another doctor and they sent me for blood again and for an ultrasound of my bladder. It was decided that I need to have a cystoscopy and the results showed I had an inflamed bladder. They said to monitor it and I would see them again in six months’ time. The urologist doctor said that I had chronic bladder infections. I need to be monitored as I may need to repeat this in six months. He said to me that I have chronic painful bladder syndrome, and I had been misdiagnosed. After getting this diagnosis, I researched and found people like me and what I was feeling.
As the world went into pandemic, the NHS became critical, my appointments kept getting canceled and my bladder got more manageable. I recognised signs and got medication to help with the pain. I think being out of the pubs every weekend and living with family helped me the most. I started to turn my life around, yes, I had the painful bladder but none of the leaking, I was getting used to waking up during the night.
The pain got worst, and I started not making it to the toilet. Being with my partner, I made an appointment with my new doctor. They looked at my record and transferred me instantly to urology. I was booked in for my second cystoscopy. When I came around the urologist, said to me that my bladder wall was inflamed and that this needed to be monitored. He suggested a round of bladder installation treatment.
For six weeks, every Friday I had this treatment, which made Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve, not enjoyable. It was the first one pre-pandemic, and it meant a lot to my partner. I put a brave face on and got on with it. After six weeks, they said to me to reduce it to every two weeks, then four weeks. I have been having this treatment for over one year. It’s saved me as I can manage the pain levels, and it hasn’t stopped me from living my life.
The only difference now is that when I run, I wear incontinence wear because I leak. That’s my choice to wear them, I feel more in control. The pain levels are there but a steroid injection every four weeks means I can live my life normally. I’m okay with this. Every appointment I have I come out thankful for all the grateful and thankful for all the nurses and doctors who have seen me.
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